I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
