So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize
