On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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