My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Randomize
