My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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