no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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