what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
