Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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