i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
