community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Why are your pants in the freezer?
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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