I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
