I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
