I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
