So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
