Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
