This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Randomize
