i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
