hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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