there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Randomize
