I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
