the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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