...so i touched it.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
