fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
