Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
