he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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