found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
