Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
