I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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