talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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