He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
