I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
