How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize