he shaved USA in his pubs
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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