mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I skipped work to stalk him.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
