The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
