He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
