bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Say something about gay babies.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
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