Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
