I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
