I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
