Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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