I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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