It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
You were trust falling into bushes
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
