yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
