There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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