Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
