Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
