I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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