Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
i drank out of a bidet.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
They took my balls.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
