I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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