Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
