I'm gonna have a badass scar
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize