I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
