what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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