how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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