OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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