I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Randomize
