worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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