I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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