so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
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