every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
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