i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
