you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
