She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
it glows. i had to have it.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
