it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
