areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Randomize
